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Last updateMon, 07 Jul 2014 9am

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A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted. 'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where am I.'
The man below replied, 'You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west latitude.'
'You must be an Engineer,' said the Balloonist.
'I am,' replied the man, 'how did you know?'

I love sports. In secondary school, I excelled in volleyball, football and marathon; all laffline readers that attended CDSS, Ojo, 1999 set are giving the nod in affirmation.

Another competition I love so much is food competition; oh my...I call it the desirous-delicious-sport of internal filling. I have participated in a total of about 300 food competition all my life and I'm still pushing the career. Oh yes, it's a career thing for me.

Never won any laurels, never came first in any of the various challenge. Then again, who cares? All that concerns me is that I will keep representing myself and tummy at the slightest offer or competition.

A blonde walks into a bank in Johannesburg and asks for the loans depts. says she´s going to Europe on business for three weeks and needs to borrow R10,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the papers and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank manager and its staff all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a R500, 000 Rolls as collateral against a R10,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank´s underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the R10, 000 and the interest, which comes to R141.66. The bank manager says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow R10, 000?" The blond replies ... "Where else in Johannesburg can I park my car for two weeks for only R141.66 and expect it to be there when I return?”

What is X? Sadly, I have not heard that question since I took to working for daily bread. Who cares if you find X or Y in the money making world of ours. To truly think, I spent a long term of my life finding X for people who are suppose to teach me how to become a money maker or at least teach me tips to get the life of comfort. That's what we all want, a life of comfort. Finding X is like taking a flower to a Nigerian girl...If it's not a vegetable leaf or salad leaf for stew, you may just be taking a small cane that will be wasted on your bald head or forehead.

Van´s uncle Jakobus decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court. In court the trucking company´s fancy lawyer was questioning Uncle Jakobus. -* "Didn´t you say, at the scene of the accident, *I´m fine*?" said the lawyer. Uncle Jakobus responded, -*"Ag, well I ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favourite mule Betsie into the...." -*"I didn´t ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted -* "Just answer the question." -*"Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, *I´m fine*!" Uncle Jakobus said, -* "Ja well I had just got Betsie into the trailer & I was driving down the road...." The lawyer interrupted again and said, -*"Your honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question." By this time the Judge was fairly interested in uncle Jakobus's answer & said to the lawyer, -* "I´d like to hear what he has to say about his favourite mule Betsie." Uncle Jakobus thanked the Judge & proceeded, -* "Ja well as I was saying, I had just loaded Betsie, my favourite mule, into the trailer & was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck & trailer ran the stop sign & smacked my 4x4 bakkie right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch & Betsie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad & didn´t want to move. However, I could hear old Betsie moaning & groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a traffic cop came on the scene. He could hear Betsie moaning & groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun & shot her between the eyes. Then the traffic cop came across the road with his gun in his hand & looked at me. He said, -*"Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her.

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